Eclectic
by Caged Bird
Summary: The exceptionally creative title describes it all. One-shots and drabbles centered around the Ronon/Jennifer pairing.
1. Cranial Invasions

Cranial Invasions

Disclaimer: If I owned it, Ronon would be shirtless a heck of a lot more.

Spoilers for Identity. I can't be the only one who picked up on the anti-McKeller theme.

Back in her own body again it is not until the pain of the bullet wound recedes that she notices another presence in her mind. The only thing she can consider it to be is a part of Neeva's consciousness that had been left behind when their psyches were realigned. She doesn't tell anyone.

"You could do so much better" Neeva's words still haunt her. That little piece of consciousness keeps echoing the thought. She dismisses it. McKay is a wonderful man, how could she do better? Sure he gets so lost in his work that he sometimes misses their dates, and sure he talks a lot, and he might have been a little self-centered but honestly who else is she going to 'do better' with?

"He came to see you" Well of course, he was concerned over a teammates well-being. "You didn't see the look on his face" What look? Ronon doesn't have 'looks'. He has smirks and eyebrow raises and grunts. Not to mention the complete inability to express emotion or do anything constructive.

So really, McKay is the best option. "Forget that he really doesn't know how to be in a relationship, you're only hurting yourself". That voice is getting rather annoying, really.

"Come on, even the sex isn't that good" Of course the small part of herself that had doubts about her relationships would team up with a cranial invasion. Plus, that small part of herself has doubts about everything from hair to clothes to medicine to "McKay". Telling herself to shut up isn't considered insanity, right?

"Looks damn good in leather pants. Wonder what he'd look like in no pants." "He smells like spices and warm and leather and man." "What would it feel like to have all that strength wrapped around me?" "He fights really well, do you think he fu…" Enough! She is with McKay and perfectly happy with McKay. He is sweet and intelligent and awkward in the most adorable way. How could she possibly do better?

And if that little piece of another woman's mind answers back, she doesn't hear.


	2. Locations

Disclaimer: If you recognize it I don't own it.

AN: Unbeta'd as per usual. Hopefully you'll understand as it progresses. If you don't then either your mind is pure or I'm not very good with the innuendo.

"Mess hall?"

"Check"

"Biology lab?"

"Check"

"Puddle jumper?"

"Check, twice."

"Jumper bay?"

"Check"

*blushes* "Gym?"

"Check, check and double check" *grin*

*blushes even brighter* "Science lab?"

"Check. And before you ask, Radek walks in on us? Check"

"Infirmary? …Oooh, yeah that was a good one. Or ten. Check"

*smirks*

"So that leaves the meeting room, gate room, unexplored areas of the base and various supply closets we might find along the way, right?"

"Yup."  
"Think we should get to exploring the rest of the city then?"

"Are you wearing those lacy panties I like?"

The blush on Jennifer's skin continues all the way down to her chest as she squeaks out "Yes"

*growls* "After you then." Of course the Satedan only follows so he can stare at her butt the whole way, but he doesn't tell her that.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The author does not call claim to any of the characters, situations or large poufy dresses mentioned in the following writings.

AN: So unsatisfied with this one, yet strangely happy at the same time. It sat around without an ending for a while, but if someone wants to take the concept and expand upon it or play with it in their own style, please feel free.

That goes for everything I write. Seriously, I have these great/ok/awesome ideas and yet lack the writing ability to put them out there satisfactorily. Maybe I should just act as a living plot bunny for authors who can actually spin a story.

How did it come to this point? Standing here in this large poufy dress, done-up hair and made-up face, so different from anything she'd ever pick out for herself? Watching a man intone words that just wouldn't sink in as another stood across from her, the boredom on his face evident? Was she really supposed to say "I do" when she couldn't even look him in the eyes? What about all those expectant faces, the audience of hundreds that she barely even knew, they'd come here for her, hadn't they? Did they really matter though? What about the man whose eyes she couldn't meet? Would she see lost chances floating through his thoughts or just another blank slate, nothing to indicate he'd ever even met her? Could she live with this man for the rest of her life? Could she live with herself if she went through with this?

"I'm so sorry Rodney" It's barely a whisper, but enough to silence the entire assembly. Then she's running down the aisle and away, away, gloriously free. The frills and lace are the first thing to go, veil and gloves flung by the wayside. Hair streaming behind her, she doesn't know where her feet are heading, but that doesn't matter. The way back can be found easily, and right now the way forward is magnificently open and free of obligations.

He finds her in a small park, miles from the church, a couple of hours later. She's watching a divorced couple exchange children and bags, presumably for the weekend.

"Took you long enough to get here. Are your skills becoming depleted in this danger-free environment Mr. Dex?"

He raises an eyebrow. Ah. How nice of him to give her some extra time alone.

"Are they all expecting me back there?"

"I guess. You did take off."

She shrugs. "Seemed like a good idea at the time. Then again all of this" she motions to the layers of lace and satin and beading "seemed like a good idea too. Where did it all go wrong?"

She'd gotten used to disappointment at a young age. When they'd moved her from first up through third grade without so much as a blink she'd been excited. She got to hang out with the big kids! They wouldn't mind that she was already reading at a fifth grade level or that she could do multiplication and division already. She stayed in third grade for all of three weeks before being promoted up to fourth. The older children were even crueler than their younger counterparts. Her knowledge and intelligence was a curse, not a blessing. Already ostracized due to her age and small stature, the hope she'd first felt at finally fitting in dropped faster than she did the first time a foot stuck out with the deliberate intention of tripping her up. As the laughter surrounded her any dreams she had of peer acceptance fell to the floor.

It would have been prudent at that point to dismiss all her dreams. Let them shatter to the floor and just follow the future. But if it hadn't been for her dreams she never would have gotten to be the person, the doctor she was today. Never followed the man in military garb to the scarily clandestine meeting, never followed her feet up to a planet in an entirely different galaxy. Never would have found the friends and life she had today.

It was the other dreams that were causing her problems. The dreams of the little girl who wanted a man, strong and kind and handsome, to sweep her off to be a princess in a castle far away in a land where there were no worries. Of course that particular dream had matured as she did. There was no worry free land, on this planet or the next. She didn't need to be a princess, just wished to be respected and loved for who she was.

The last part of this equation was the bit that broke her heart. She had by now realized she'd had the man, but not even known it until he slipped through her fingers.

He's been a good friend though. Heck, he's here right now, just ready to listen or let her have her silence. Sometimes that's all she needs.

"Doc?" Oh. Of course. Said man was quiet through her internal musings, but the afternoon would quickly become evening.

"Before we go, can I ask you something Ronon?"

A noncommittal shrug was her only answer, but it was all she needed. "Why are you such a good friend to me? To everyone? We're not always the best to you, heaven knows I've been ignoring anything that doesn't have to do with wedding planning or work for the past few weeks, yet you're here right now."

It's not the question she wants to ask at all. She wants to know if she's blown it entirely, with Rodney, with her family, with her friends, with him. But right now she doesn't have the courage for those types of questions, let alone the answers they might bring.

He shrugs again. "Just what I do I guess Doc." He smirks. "Plus, listening doesn't take up much energy. Leaves more than enough to beat up the new marines."

She smiles. It's not over yet, not by a long shot. But somehow, by him just being him, being there she knows it's going to be okay.

She sighs standing up, glancing at him with a grin full of mischief. "One last question then. Does this dress make me look fat?"


	4. Moving Innuendo

Disclaimer: Don't own it if you recognize it.

Un-beta'd, so all horribleness is to be blamed solely on me. Plot has also been used a million times, most of them better than this current incarnation. Reviews are still appreciated.

"A little to the left"

"My left or yours?"

"Harder!"

*strained grunt* "There's only so much harder I can give, Doc"

Rodney McKay stopped his hand from connecting with the door, a knock left incomplete as he listened to the voices coming from within.

"It's almost there. Come on, we knew it was going to be a tight fit before we even started."

"This tight?"

"Well not quite. Maybe I overestimated the size?"

What exactly was going on in there? Because what it sounded like could not be what it was; Jennifer would never do that to him. Not even with Ronon.

"Hey McKay, why're you just standing…" John's voice was immediately hushed as Rodney pulled him aside.

"Just listen" he whispered.

"Ah, it's so hot!" A small gasp. "Oh dear. Ronon, I really don't know if this is going to work." Her voice is strained and breathless.

"At this point, Doc, we're going to make it work."

"You sure? We don't want to damage anything. I mean, it's nothing I can't easily fix, but I'd prefer not to take the risk."

Grunts, straining noises and strange shaking sounds reverberated in the eavesdroppers ears.

"She's not…no, she can't be." John's eyes are almost rounded in shock. It would be comical if it were not for the heartbreak evident on Rodney's face.

"Of course not." His blustering is a little too forced. "I'm just going to get the door opened from out here though."

"Right. Because breaking and entering isn't a crime in this galaxy at all."

"Enough with the sarcasm you glorified hair gel jockey," the scientist hisses, "and keep it down!"

The voices from within are breathless by now, hoarse and panting.

"One last try, then we're going to get some assistance. Maybe something to make it go in easier?"

"Ok, if you insist. Just try not to hurt yourself or damage anything."

John looks over at Rodney. The scientist has just finished tinkering with the controls for the door and they both peer inside, expecting the worst.

What they see, however, is an exhausted pair pushing at a rather large curio cabinet.

"Rodney, John! How great to see you guys. We could use an extra hand or two getting this thing to move."

"But…then…you're not…with him?"

"What are you going on about Rodney?" Jennifer is cheerfully oblivious. "It seems I underestimated the weight of this thing and the size of the space between the desk and the wall. It'll still fit, it just needs some coaxing."

Then she gets a look at their shell-shocked faces. "Uum guys? You okay?"

John recovers his wits first. "Yeah Doc, we're fine."

She glances at Ronon, then between the other two men. "Riiight then, John over this side, Rodney can you help too or might you strain something?"

After a bit of effort and much arguing the cabinet is successfully in place. "Thanks guys for helping. Say Rodney, how'd you get in here? I never answered the door. It's not broken is it?" She's walking towards it, inspecting as John speaks up.

"Well you see Doc, Rodney and I heard some stuff and we decided…that is we needed to…"

"Well what? You heard Ronon and I moving furniture and decided to break my door?"

Ronon has picked up on the tension at this point, seen the looks on his companions' faces and realized what Sheppard is trying to say. "Doc, they think we were having sex."

Blunt as it may be, Jennifer is shocked more at the lack of trust from her boyfriend.

"Seriously? Rodney? You thought I would do that to you?"

The scientist stammers over his answer "Well no, Jennifer, but it sounded suspicious and"

"And you used your famous logic and intelligent mind which automatically led you to believe we were cheating?" She's furious and it shows in her icy tone. "Come on Ronon. Let's go drink that beer I promised you. Good thing we don't have to share with those two. Pity, it's the good stuff and all." As she stalks off, followed quickly by the warrior she calls behind "And my door better be fixed by the time I get back!"

The two friends just look at each other. "We could have handled that a little better."

"Really Sheppard? You think so? She's going to be mad at us forever now. Look forward to some pretty nasty shots. I just hope she doesn't decide to use that citrus perfume."

Down the hall the young doctor is muttering. "Honestly, those two! The absolute nerve! To think that I would… Ugh!" Ronon just follows, letting her vent. "Plus if I wanted an affair, do you really think I would be stupid enough to have it in my own quarters? Sheesh, anyone could find me there." A few steps later she abruptly grasps her companion by the wrist and turns into a disused storage room. She smirks up at him as she pulls off her shirt. "Here is a much better place. Now what was I saying about hot and hard?"


End file.
